Blind Loyalty: Redefining What It Means to Be Loyal

This morning, during my meditation, the word loyalty floated into my mind. I was not sure why, but naturally, my thoughts followed that thread and it took me back.

I remembered an early moment in my career when a former employer told me, “I trust you because you’re loyal.” At the time, that comment did not sit right with me. It felt off. Almost like I was being praised for obedience, not for critical thinking or integrity.

Maybe it is because, in my mind, loyalty was something I associated with dogs—unquestioning, unwavering, almost blind. It implied a kind of discipline or submission. Do what I say. Be available when I need you. Be loyal.

But what made it feel worse was that this person was, in many ways, toxic. Over time, it became clear that “loyalty” was not about mutual respect or shared values—it was a tool. A form of subtle manipulation. If I was loyal, I was expected to go along with things that did not sit right with me, that crossed my boundaries and chipped away at my integrity.

That experience stayed with me and changed how I view the word altogether.

I started to see how loyalty, when misused, becomes a weapon. A way to guilt or control. A one way street.

But true loyalty, healthy loyalty, should not require you to abandon yourself.

It is not about standing by someone no matter how far they drift from your values, or how much harm they cause. And it is certainly not about sacrificing your own wellbeing in service of someone else’s ego.

Loyalty should be mutual.Earned.Reciprocal.

I am loyal to you because our values align.Because I feel safe with you.Because I trust that you have my back, just as I have yours.

It is not loyalty if it is rooted in fear, guilt, or obligation.It is loyalty when it grows from respect, integrity, and shared purpose.

We live in a time where many of us are redefining old words that no longer serve us. Words that once reflected power dynamics instead of true connection.

So let’s redefine loyalty.

Not as blind obedience or enduring commitment in the face of betrayal.

But as a conscious choice to walk beside someone with care, with trust, and with aligned values.

That is the kind of loyalty that builds something beautiful.